Breathe Worlds

Another day of a satisfying labour, still lagging behind where I should be, and musical epihany comes to me - oh and a re-cap on a nightmare (this one is nice).

I Don't Wanna Know The Reason You Ran Away
I just want to know the reason why I love this song, and it's because Anna Tsuchiya writes her lyrics with such a tomboyish feel that it's almost male. Time after time, it feels like I can relate to her songs more than any girls I know might. This time, though, I loved this song for a bittersweet reason (one of my favourite flavours of reason), and that reason was because it broke my heart. Shrunk the poor thing 'till it couldn't be smaller, and then gently ground it up. However, unlike her usual feel, which is always sounds extremely personal, this time, I felt like the reason she was singing with sadness in her voice - and that's why it hurt and felt good at the same time (a quick reminder to the audience that Jun is not a masochist) - was because the song was about a boyfriend who leaves her with little to no explanataion, and she feels like she did nothing wrong, and chooses to move on. Of course she doesn't regret this, but it's not like it doens't hurt to move on, right ? I've had some issues with being clingy, so I know that feeling first-hand, but the way she sings "I don't wanna show the tears I shed on YOU", I can't help but feel some sort of sting as if she was singing to me, and I somehow was her lover (I'd have been a better one, of course), but I thought this was especially heart-provoking, because it made me feel like I was relating to the only person in this song who regrets something... which leads me to only all sorts of introspectal questions (all of which I won't address here). No digress needed, I'm done my periodical raving of how great Anna Tsuchiya's music is. It, by the way, is great.

Fear and Violence
Two lovely things that combined themselves in my most recent nightmare. I'm still in awe of how horribly twisted it was. Well here goes my recount of the only scene I still remember:

The plot was about some sort of 'Evil-spirit Infestation' which seemed to take over dead people's bodies and go around killing people who would become more dead bodies which serve these spirits, and they go around killing things in random psychotic ways... because that's what manifested evil spirits do.

It's dark, and it's night - there was very little in terms of ambient detail but it was at stretch of road with no lights, and surrounded by woods. A small bus is driving down the road at a fairly fast speed with a woman at the wheel and a lone child in the middle of the bus. Suddenly, the bus is rammed from the side by a massive bulldozer - a man is driving it and he has a terrified expression on his face - the woman and the child start screaming as he topples the bus and pushes it into a roadside ditch. He starts pushing the sides of the ditch down onto the bus, attemptin to bury it and the child starts to screech. I'm so terrified of what I'm dreaming now, it felt like I was watching from not far away, instead of simply watching a movie. The man looks terrified, too, and he keeps pushing the dirt down and the bus is now nearly covered, and the child is screeching and banging on the window. It sounds so shrill and it just doesn't end - I feel like this scene doesn't end as she just keeps screeching without pausing for breath, but then, without warning, it finally stops, and the bus is completely under the dirt. The man pauses and starts shaking, as if he was too afraid to even express his fear untill now, but something doesn't seem right to me, and before I can think of what, the girl drops down in front of the bulldozer's windshield and screeches again - it's so much louder now and I start shaking, myself. The windshield breaks inwards and the pieces tear into the man's body and cut him all over - it looks like he's already dead, but the girl keeps screeching, but more gutturally this time. If you've seen the Grudge, think about that ribbiting noise, only make it shrill and as if you had no limit to how long you could do it. She starts licking up his blood with her fingers and that's about when I wake up, petrified in my bed, because for some reason, I thought she might be in my closet.

Reality check, I am not a 9 year old kid, right ? Right.

A Lion Shares... The Mercantilion concept work

Just some thoughts on Matthew Zieffer which may lead me to take a more anthromorphic leap in the character development.

From the Online Etymology Dictionary, for "Lion":
" Used figuratively from c.1200 in an approving sense, "one who is fiercely brave," and a disapproving one, "tyrannical leader, greedy devourer." Verb lionize "to treat (someone) as a celebrity" was used by Scott, 1809, and preserves lion in the sense of "person of note who is much sought-after" (1715), originally in ref. to the lions formerly kept in the Tower of London (referred to thus from late 16c.), objects of general curiosity that every visitor in town was taken to see. Lion's share "the greatest portion" is attested from 1790."

I had already decided that the Emblem of this both fictitious, and to-be factitious enterprise would be an adaptation of Singapore's Merlion: a Mercantilion - a creature who symbolizes sovergnity over not only land and water, but also air - sitting proudly, for his profile, he stretches one wing to the right side, the direction he also faces with his gaze and fish-tail. The effect, from a far: a distinguised "E" which shall be proudly branded on all of it's property.

The root of Mercantilion is also Mercantile - but more so focused on the practise known as Mercantalism initiated by the British in control of colonies across the globe. True to this concept, Matthew's aim is to bring his corporation to power, by the aquisition, and then subjugation of the foci of power around him. Wealth is simply one of the tools that can be used to aquire this power, but Matthew knows better than to trust any measure that wealth has brought him.

As far as virtues go, Matthew is a twisted personification of courage, for he is neither rash nor fearful, but menacingly calculative. Through personal introspection, this is meaningless as Matthew does not take a 'risk' as he would define it. However, in the eyes of the beholder, his calculated actions, based off of his superior intelect, overcome the boundries set by a 'fear of the unkown result' by the common observer; his actions appear courageous as he presses his path forward and bends the consequences to his favour. His false courage is not only a cause of awe, but his actions are commited, and he prefers them carried out thoroughly - as such, he relies on various resources to get the job done, and isn't hesitant to get his hands bloody.

But for all that and more, Matthew displays himself as the rich socialite - an executive playboy who flirts with power. Like any power player, he knows the best ways to tie the leash around those around him as tight as he can without choking them to death. It his his ultimate prize to dangle his promises like morsels to a pet - a serious Napolean complex. But he's not the only one to feel that way - He's the desire of every woman (some secretly, and others quite openly), who see promises of the exquisite lifestyle waiting at the top of the food chain.

The laws of the system are the rules of the game he plays; a true Machiavellian Prince - he's a man to which all the world only stands to make him more supreme. He has no equal inside his playing field for those who conform to the rules are but his pawn; he, the king.

That is all for now, especially on Matthew - who I am most raptured by - the other two of interest will be discussed later, though it may be difficult with no solid symbol (such as Matthew's overt personification of a Lion) to guide my train of thought.

Next up, the Lion's worst enemy: Hyenas, baring the totem fangs for the mercenary outlaw society that seems to have contracts with Matthew's enemies.